Why Did I Get Married? - Character Review

A new movie offers advice to strengthen Black families, beginning with marriages.

“84% of African American marriages end in divorce”, according to www.divorceandkids.com in 2001.

Tyler Perry’s new film, Why Did I Get Married tells an interesting story of eight college friends in distress about their marriage. Each of their secrets are revealed at this annual winter week – long marriage retreat, threatening four divorces if they don’t do some major damage control. Tyler Perry is known for writing screenplays/scripts loosely related to Christianity.

Very different from Madea’s Family Reunion and Diary of a Mad Black Woman, his fourth movie was funny, but lacked the overt religious tone that is Perry’s key signature. Though Janet Jackson, Malik Yoba, and Tyler Perry are amongst the lead characters, Jill Scott’s role seemed to be the sole God-fearing character of the bunch.

Sheila (Jill Scott) is the embellished stereotype of what a Christian woman looks like and how she thinks. Shelia is over weight and allows others to verbally abuse her because of her insecurities. Often beating her husband to the punch – line with her own fat jokes, she tells herself her marriage is failing because she’s a “big girl”. I have heard males say that church women can be cute, but are not sexy and usually are plus size women. Ladies, I am sure we have several comebacks for these brothas, but they will have to learn on their own…

Shelia separated herself from her friends to learn a lesson of her own. With the help of a God sent friend who pointed out her natural beauty, Shelia realized that the Lord had not given up on her. She was able to let go of the hurt and anger she felt towards her selfish husband, in return for her own confidence. She let go and let God do his thang! She didn’t really have a choice. Sometimes we are forced to stop “fixing” our situation(s) ourselves.

When we open our eyes and allow God to remove us from our bad situations/bad relationships, know that there is more to gain on his end. Don’t feel as though you have nothing to give without your significant other. Though he may have left you broke, believe that he hasn’t left you broken.

God, Why Did You Make Me A Woman?

Many times I have wondered, as I’m sure most women do, why God made me a woman. Since the beginning of time men have had more power than women. History tells us that we have struggled to get more power over men rather than equality. Eve was created to be Adam’s helper, yet she stepped out of her place when she gave Adam the fruit of the forbidden tree. And his weak leadership skills allowed her to influence him. (Genesis 3)

By being single, for a short time Adam knew what it meant to live in undivided devotion to the Lord. Paul said, “An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of the world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided.” (1 Corinthians 7:32 & 34) After God gave him a wife, he desired to please Eve. Adam had the experience/knowledge of what it was to be a single man, something Eve didn’t have.

Some women look at men’s relationship with God, as it relates to power, as just more responsibility. Those women tend to be more content with being single than others. These are the women that don’t mind waiting. But, what about the independent woman? The “Go-Getter” in her career who thinks she can transfer that same attitude to her “love” life?

Single Christian women that study the bible know what their role is compared to men, but we are also human and can use a little reminder. I’ve always struggled with waiting. I am a city girl and enjoy the fast pace society that I live in… I believe in fast food drive through windows, self check – out lanes at the grocery store and of course online shopping. Though, it would be very convenient to google Mr. Right, it’s just not gonna happen that way. So, I’ve taken the time to be busy during “the wait”. I’ve been working on me and my relationship with God and others. I’ve learned a lot and I understand that if I were truly ready that God would have blessed me with a husband already. Along with that, God may still be working on him; even Adam had to wait for Eve to be molded by God before he had a wife… The only difference is he was expected to search for her.

God doesn’t expect women to search for their husbands (Prov. 18:22). I must admit that at times that frustrates me to no end… I want to “do something” about my status… (Ironically status is often used interchangeably with power). Independent women see what they want and go after it. That strategy often puts us in powerful positions and makes us advocates for the women’s progression movement. Not exactly a negative thing, but a prudent woman progresses as God allows her to.

In Proverbs 8, wisdom and understanding is described as a woman. “For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her. I, wisdom, dwell with prudence; I possess knowledge and discretion… I have understanding and power (Prov. 8: 11, 12 &14). Prov. 8: 17 says, “ I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.” It takes “the wait” to become those things. The man who finds you at the end of your wait gains wisdom and understanding making him favorable to the Lord… Talk about bringing something to the table!

So, Why did God make me... to be a good thing! (Prov. 18:22)