Can Christians Stay Faithful on Reality T.V. Shows?

Being a Christian on the Real World is full of the same challenges in the “real world”.

Shows such as MTV’s Real World and BET’s College Hill put young adults in a co-ed house, sparking sexual tension and inevitable conflict. Usually the cast sleeping arrangements on these two shows consist of 3 to a room one person of the opposite sex. Outside of the house they have to work together on special projects. They very seldom show the cast interacting with other people, unless they bring guests to the house. Roommates, co-workers and even best friends are bound to have a few cat-fights.

It’s extremely hard to avoid temptation and quarrels in a setting like this. Being a member of a sorority, I know first hand, how easy it is for people to start a simple conversation and then have it escalate into a petty argument. I love my sorors dearly, but we are all leaders and sometimes don’t value each other’s opinions as much as our own. When we’re mad, all the sisterhood’s ideals get thrown out the window. If some of those moments were caught on tape, I might be a bit embarrassed by my temper tantrums and ego trippin’. It is often said that women are natural gossip girls when more than one is in a room. True, True, True! I’d like to say that me and my sorors are different, but we are just as human as those reality t.v. show casts. We’ve seen it over and over again with Lauren Conrad and her ex-best friend Heidi Montag on The Hills (MTV).

The Bible tells us that quarrels are never a good thing. In Prov. 17: 14, quarrels are described as a breaching dam and we are encouraged to drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. Simply agree to disagree and move on to the next topic. Proverbs 26:20 says, “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”


Who are we to judge Stephen (22 at taping) from Real World: Denver who was caught on camera cheating on his girlfriend (afterwards aired his attendance to a local church), and America’s Next Top Model: Cycle one's Bible flipping contestant, Robin Manning (accused of flashing Mr. Jay off camera, after refusing to pose nude). We all make choices that affect our future and the people that are associated with us. The only difference is that the world has a record of their sins to rewind and playback… forever.

The Bible teaches us to submit to God. James 4:1 says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?” When we truly desire to be Christ-like we understand that God will not put more on us than we can bear at any point during our life. Meditating this reminds us to hold our tongue. As true Christians we must do as 2 Timothy 2:24 tells us to do, “And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach not resentful. So the writer, presumably Paul, has charged us to lead by example.

We have seen people take extremely just stands for their faith, such as Shannon Stewart (24 at taping), who considers her self to be a devout Christian. Stewart refused to pose nude for a photo shoot on Cycle one of America’s Next Top Model. “Just trying to be Christ-like,” Anna Bradfield said, to defend her right not to pose nude during the first fashion shoot of Cycle two “If I show it [her body] to the whole world, what’s so special when I give it to [my husband]?” she questioned the panel. She was eliminated from the show that week.

So, maybe we need more strong believers to become billboards for the Lord. “Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Tim. 4:12)

Are you curious to know what the Bible say about the show producers and people who watch arguments and fights for the sake of entertainment? He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction. (Prov. 17:19) Let God judge them, but try to encourage others to take the same just stand as a faithful Christian.

Why Did I Get Married? - Character Review

A new movie offers advice to strengthen Black families, beginning with marriages.

“84% of African American marriages end in divorce”, according to www.divorceandkids.com in 2001.

Tyler Perry’s new film, Why Did I Get Married tells an interesting story of eight college friends in distress about their marriage. Each of their secrets are revealed at this annual winter week – long marriage retreat, threatening four divorces if they don’t do some major damage control. Tyler Perry is known for writing screenplays/scripts loosely related to Christianity.

Very different from Madea’s Family Reunion and Diary of a Mad Black Woman, his fourth movie was funny, but lacked the overt religious tone that is Perry’s key signature. Though Janet Jackson, Malik Yoba, and Tyler Perry are amongst the lead characters, Jill Scott’s role seemed to be the sole God-fearing character of the bunch.

Sheila (Jill Scott) is the embellished stereotype of what a Christian woman looks like and how she thinks. Shelia is over weight and allows others to verbally abuse her because of her insecurities. Often beating her husband to the punch – line with her own fat jokes, she tells herself her marriage is failing because she’s a “big girl”. I have heard males say that church women can be cute, but are not sexy and usually are plus size women. Ladies, I am sure we have several comebacks for these brothas, but they will have to learn on their own…

Shelia separated herself from her friends to learn a lesson of her own. With the help of a God sent friend who pointed out her natural beauty, Shelia realized that the Lord had not given up on her. She was able to let go of the hurt and anger she felt towards her selfish husband, in return for her own confidence. She let go and let God do his thang! She didn’t really have a choice. Sometimes we are forced to stop “fixing” our situation(s) ourselves.

When we open our eyes and allow God to remove us from our bad situations/bad relationships, know that there is more to gain on his end. Don’t feel as though you have nothing to give without your significant other. Though he may have left you broke, believe that he hasn’t left you broken.

Faithful Friends Forgive and Forget

Having friends is like writing a book… Your friends will never truly forgive you for your past imperfections. You can edit a book several times before you publish it, but after it goes to print, the content nor the grammar can be changed. The author is then responsible for the concepts provided within that project. What happens after that writer finishes the book, has a few more epiphanies and learns/believes that the opinion of the original concept is no longer valid. Does the writer write another book? How can an author ensure that the readers from the previous project understand that through the individual’s experiences those concepts have changed? Everyone has made bad decisions in their past. Some of us have even come to realize that we need to change our lifestyles in order to produce the results we really want.

I realized after a recent conversation, that when your friends recognize a pattern of mistakes that you have made, they aren’t as likely to let you forget about them. I called up my sorority sister one day and told her about how close my relationship with Christ has gotten. I told her whenever I feel lonely, I can read my Bible and he always seems to let me flip to a scripture that raises my spirits. I explained to her the importance of 2 Timothy 2:22 in my life. “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” From reading my Bible, I have learned what to pray for. Those prayers have become more personal and God has opened up more doors for my career and friendships. I told her that I had begun having frequent chats with an interesting man from the church. Then she interrupted me to say, “Ambi, you know how ‘froggy’ you can get… You know you are supposed to be married to someone and somehow you end up with these devils disguised as angels. Take your time.” Of course, I responded with an, “I know!” If she were listening to the first half of our conversation she would have recognized how this situation was different. My focus was clearly on friendships and how one had developed through my connection with God.

When God provides me with an opportunity to pursue love with someone who loves him and is actively seeking to serve him, then I will know because it comes through conversations with first God, and then the man. Conversations, like the ones with my soror, are meant to test my faith. Writing about my journey as a young, single, Christian woman allows me to self-evaluate my path to righteousness. I believe that 2 Timothy 2:22 is connected to 1 Timothy 4:15 – 16, “Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Preserve in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.”

That is why I have been inspired to write about my journey as a young, single, Christian woman. God, who is my true friend, understands that I am not perfect, yet he supports me as I strive to be as Christ-like as humanly possible. I have found myself in a pattern of doing wrong and asking God to forgive me many times before. I know most of my friends and even close family members would be too prideful to accept my apology for a reoccurring fault against them. Only God has been that forgiving towards me. For that, I owe it to him to give that same service to my friends, family, and even people that I may consider to be enemies. When the time of judgment comes, I want my good to outweigh my bad and the slate wiped clean.