What Daddies Teach Their Little Girls

Good Dad’s have a way of convincing their little girls that they are worth more than anything money can buy. Is it that kind of thinking that keeps many women unwed?

As a little girl, one of my favorite movies was “A Little Princess”. There is this scene which portrays this once rich White student turned orphan, Sarah Crewe talking to the poor Black orphan and school scullery maid, Becky about her magical life as a princess in India. Sarah made it clear that all girls are princess in their fathers’ eyes.

There were several aspects of this movie that I could relate to at their age. Though, I am not an orphan, I was adopted by my father at the age of two. He and my mother married when I was one. Together, I am their youngest of four children. So, I share a special connection to both of my parents, but I am definitely known for being “Daddy’s little girl”. I would follow him around the house asking him a million questions. Usually followed up with the overly inquisitive phrase, “Why, Daddy?” When he wasn’t home, I would play in his house shoes and sleep on his side of the bed to keep my mommy safe. He’s my superhero that has made a promise to always protect me from the bad guys. He made it his job to teach me how to watch my own back should he not be present to save the day. From him, I learned the importance of being “an independent woman”. He’s never stopped teaching me my self-worth. Somehow, that same self-worth turned into self-pride. Through books and music I unknowingly allowed what seemed like positive messages to serve as temporary upliftment for the purpose of justify my imperfection.

We hear songs on the radio by singers like Beyoncé known as “Ladies’ Anthems”. Women get their heads pumped up by listening to “Upgrade U” (a song that implies that the man needs to change) and “Irreplaceable” (explains in detail when, why, and how the man can be replaced with another man). A woman should be sensitive to the feelings of others and their situations, not arrogant or selfish. Women use lines like, “U must not know ‘bout me” and roll their necks so hard believing that they are above the male species. These are the women that have a hard time keeping friends, let alone a relationship. They sweat the small stuff and have a cow if someone steps outside their realm of perfection. I don’t believe in letting go of my morals or lowering my standards, but when I feel they are being jeopardized I can ask God to help me explain that in away that will not offend or provoke an argument. My goal to have a healthy relationship/friendship should always over-ride my wants for immediate gratification.

The confidence my dad gave me amplified by the lyrics from the ladies’ anthems were enough to set me on my high horse… and keep me there until I came across this quote. “If you have to demand admiration, respect, or even love, you haven’t done the work to earn it”, author Michelle McKinney Hammond states in her recent book, How to Make Love Work: The Guide to Getting it, Keeping it, and Fixing What’s Broken. Hammond’s Christian perspective on building friendships and lasting relationships helped me to realize I haven’t done all I can to be a friend. Hammond’s book sent me to Philippians 2:3-8.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 2:3-5 NIV

I knew then what to ask God for in prayer. I want to be humble, show kindness and be more understanding when people don’t meet my sometimes, unrealistic expectations.

When I was daddy’s little girl, I needed to be empowered, but as a young Christian woman I need to work on humility and it’s ability to empower me. I won’t lose my assertive confidence nor will I subject myself to physical or mental abuse, but I am aiming to be more Christ-like without playing God. Who am I to judge people for the everyday choices they make? They may affect me, and so my job is to react to those decision in the way that honors God. In order for me to serve in the capacity that a single Christian woman should, I need to be understanding. I need to be patient enough to let people make the right choices on their own or learn from their mistakes without passing judgment. Daddy’s little girl isn’t all grown up, but she is definitely growing in spirit!



“Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Preserve in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” - 1 Timothy 4:15 – 16

*Writing about my journey as a young, single, Christian woman allows me to self-evaluate my path to righteousness.