Faithful Friends Forgive and Forget

Having friends is like writing a book… Your friends will never truly forgive you for your past imperfections. You can edit a book several times before you publish it, but after it goes to print, the content nor the grammar can be changed. The author is then responsible for the concepts provided within that project. What happens after that writer finishes the book, has a few more epiphanies and learns/believes that the opinion of the original concept is no longer valid. Does the writer write another book? How can an author ensure that the readers from the previous project understand that through the individual’s experiences those concepts have changed? Everyone has made bad decisions in their past. Some of us have even come to realize that we need to change our lifestyles in order to produce the results we really want.

I realized after a recent conversation, that when your friends recognize a pattern of mistakes that you have made, they aren’t as likely to let you forget about them. I called up my sorority sister one day and told her about how close my relationship with Christ has gotten. I told her whenever I feel lonely, I can read my Bible and he always seems to let me flip to a scripture that raises my spirits. I explained to her the importance of 2 Timothy 2:22 in my life. “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” From reading my Bible, I have learned what to pray for. Those prayers have become more personal and God has opened up more doors for my career and friendships. I told her that I had begun having frequent chats with an interesting man from the church. Then she interrupted me to say, “Ambi, you know how ‘froggy’ you can get… You know you are supposed to be married to someone and somehow you end up with these devils disguised as angels. Take your time.” Of course, I responded with an, “I know!” If she were listening to the first half of our conversation she would have recognized how this situation was different. My focus was clearly on friendships and how one had developed through my connection with God.

When God provides me with an opportunity to pursue love with someone who loves him and is actively seeking to serve him, then I will know because it comes through conversations with first God, and then the man. Conversations, like the ones with my soror, are meant to test my faith. Writing about my journey as a young, single, Christian woman allows me to self-evaluate my path to righteousness. I believe that 2 Timothy 2:22 is connected to 1 Timothy 4:15 – 16, “Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Preserve in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.”

That is why I have been inspired to write about my journey as a young, single, Christian woman. God, who is my true friend, understands that I am not perfect, yet he supports me as I strive to be as Christ-like as humanly possible. I have found myself in a pattern of doing wrong and asking God to forgive me many times before. I know most of my friends and even close family members would be too prideful to accept my apology for a reoccurring fault against them. Only God has been that forgiving towards me. For that, I owe it to him to give that same service to my friends, family, and even people that I may consider to be enemies. When the time of judgment comes, I want my good to outweigh my bad and the slate wiped clean.

My Open Letter to You

I was talking to an old friend and I don’t think he understood what I was trying to tell him. He was once my best friend, and I consider him to be my first love. We both grew up in the church together and were inseparable. We met at a National Youth Conference for church and the next year he asked me to be his date for the National Youth Conference Pageant where he gave me my first kiss during a classical music performance… It was one of those magical moments that you never want to forget. A time that we both go back to and wonder, if he hadn’t moved, how different our lives may have turned out.

Since he moved down South, I’ve noticed not only how he’s perfected the deep Southern accent, but that we’ve grown a part and he’d stopped attending church regularly. So, in my recent conversation, I shouldn’t have been quite so surprised that he wasn’t completely receptive to my Biblical references and acknowledgment of God’s works in my life.

I was trying to explain to him the seriousness of living my life as a single Christian woman. As a single Christian woman, I understand that I am able to serve others in a much different/larger capacity than when I get married. I will have more time to focus on my personal growth (especially in Christ) and I will have no obligations to any one person. Once I am married, I am to serve my husband. For example, if I’m married, the amount of time I spend try to convert a male could be easily misconstrued by my husband as spend to much personal time with him… Let’s just say it places me in a compromising situation and give way to behavior that may not be expedient for a wife… Singleness gives way to a certain freedom… When I forget how much of a gift singleness is I get an overwhelming feeling of loneliness…

A lot of times I feel as though I’m forgotten or over looked by my sorors, friends and sometimes even my closest cousins and none of my relationships have turned out the way I’d hoped they would. It hurts the most to constantly evaluate these people and their capability to give me what I need as a friend… I am then ashamed that I have forgotten that even when I feel alone, God is holding my hand and is my closest friend. I am eventually reminded that I need more time to build/strengthen my friendship with Christ before I can allow someone else to enter my heart.

In my own immaturity, I have held expectations for you to behave a specific way based on my image of who you are, what I think I mean to you, and a naive belief that this status won’t change… Unknowingly, I was infatuated with you, not because of who I was with you, but who I imagined myself to be in the future with you… because of who you are… and who I envisioned you to become with me.

Which brings me to the point of why I am ready to whole-heartedly practice 2 Timothy 2:22 in my life now… I am ready to set a side youthful ways/thoughts and pursue righteousness (not riding the fence/being a luke-warm Christian), faith (fully relying on God when things seem impossible/trusting God will provide me w/ a job/funds/etc.), and love (friendship/marriage/kids) with those who love the Lord. Through my experiences with you and you, God has allowed me to understand all of these things.

Like the best friend that he is, he can always keep it real with me… Thank you for your blessings an unwavering/unconditional love. You truly are my closest friend! Though I cannot see or touch you, your voice is getting stronger each day.



“Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Preserve in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” - 1 Timothy 4:15 – 16

*Writing about my journey as a young, single, Christian woman allows me to self-evaluate my path to righteousness.